On How to Subtract

He's a quiet man, unassuming, passionate in his love for God and God's people.  His name is Mike Cogdill, and I've had the pleasure and honor of knowing Dr. Cogdill since I was a smart-mouthed sophmore in college.  Even with that less-than-stellar beginning, he still gave me his blessing as I prepared to enter Divinity School at Campbell University Divinity School, of which he was dean.

Upon entering Divinity School, Dr. Cogdill stresses, "You don't add divinity school to your life.  You must subtract something."  Over the course of 3 1/2 years, I subtracted a lot of extra activities, most of my TV watching and online forums.  Then somewhere in that mix I added something big - a baby.

As things get hectic in life and business, I haven't forgotten Dr. Cogdill's exhortation to subtract, not to pile more and more on an already full plate. 

I subtract products.  There are some things I make that I absolutely love.  I enjoy making them and using them, and I just know all my customers are going to clamor to have one of them.  Sometimes this works.  I see it in my Soaps of Milk & Honey (and Oatmeal!), which are good sellers, and I can see this in my goat's milk lotions.  There are times, though, when I get a bit over enthused about my products and make tons of them, anticipating they'll sell; then I have to clearance them eventually.

I subtract tasks.  With all that goes into running a business, I have had to decide for myself what I will and will not do in order to drive my business.  Weekly or monthly markets are the first thing that went.  While I love meeting my customers and interacting with them, doing markets and events requires a lot of work and a pretty big time commitment.  I opted to subtract those from my business itenerary, choosing instead to focus on wholesale and private label accounts.

What have you subtracted from your business, and how has this subtraction made it more successful?

What's the Secret?

Yesterday my husband and I celebrated our eleventh anniversary.  This past year has certainly been a wild one, what with moving into our first house, making our "big move" at the same time to a completely new part of the state, and having a new baby.  Our day began with brunch at Chris's Cosmic Kitchen in Wilmington, traversed down to Kure Beach for a bit of water therapy and a walk on the beach, ultimately ending back in Wilmington with a fondue dinner at The Little Dipper.  Our server at dinner asked us, "What's the secret to staying married that long?"

My first answer was "Forgiveness," and Peter followed this up with, "Don't go to bed angry."  In all our years of marriage, as long as we've been under the same roof, we've slept in the same bed, with maybe the rare occasion of sickness.  (I had bad heartburn for a few days with my first pregnancy and slept sitting up on the sofa one night.)  We might sometimes sleep with a foot of space between us, yet at some point during the night, our bodies forget about the irritation and we end up in our usual yin-yang-esque position.  I've screwed up.  He's screwed up.  We will both likely screw up again, but we can't let that become a wedge between us.

I thought later, and the other thing that keeps us united and strong is laughter.  In any situation, we have a choice of how we'll react.  Last night is a great example.  On the way to dinner, traveling down the interstate, I blew a tire on my car.  A little freaky, and somehow rather funny, given that I'd just asked him if the tire would survive my road trip today.  He's changing the tire, and we're exploring the levity of the situation.  One thing we try to do each anniversary is use the "traditional anniversary gift guide" for presents.  This actually makes us be creative in our gift-giving.  The 11th anniversary gift is steel.  Can ya see where I'm going with this?  After he got done changing my tire, Peter said, "Well, you'll get a steel-belted radial for your anniversary gift.  I'm getting you steel after all!"  I laughed (really, a tire's OK this year), and we hobbled on to dinner on the spare, getting smiles and waves when people read our back window.

What are your secrets to a long and happy marriage?

Being Looked Up To and Humbled

It happened twice this week, rather out of the blue.  The first time was Tuesday when a friend saw something I posted on Facebook.  I was venting about my older daughter's teacher and used a description that she was afraid her daughter would see.  It caught me off-guard, but what she said was, "She looks up to you, and seeing that would crush her."  Wow.  I absolutely adore this young lady.  She's lovely, funny and bright, but she doesn't see herself like her parents and I do.  I think of her as the niece I'll never have (but have always wanted), and I later messaged my friend and said I'd never want to do anything to hurt her or make her stumble.

Then came Wednesday.  I was moderating and catching up on the WSP forums and saw a discussion thread on SoapMaker, the lye calculator I use.  One member said to me, "You're my mentor."  Again, a humble wow.  This lady is very sweet, we get along great and I think of her as a friend, but I had no idea she sees me as her mentor, someone from whom she can seek guidance and encouragement.

Both of these comments humbled me.  There's something about knowing others are looking at what I do, what I say and what I think and have decided for themselves that it's good.  Or not.  If Jesus himself refuses the title of "Good teacher," when he alone is good, then certainly I should just hold the humble honor that's in the title of "teacher," "mentor" and "friend."

Who's your mentor?  What about that person makes them that for you?

The Hype of Social Media

Confession...  I'm a huge crime drama junkie - My week runs through all the CBS "howdunits" from Monday night with CSI: Miami to Thursday night and The Mentalist.  (Numb3rs is off the air and I gave up on Sunday nights - couldn't stay up.)  Last night I was watching Criminal Minds, which is like a dark chocolate dream to this former Psych major, and was fascinated by the whole emphasis on social media.  There were a couple of comments that really stood out for me.

"Online time suck" - Garcia said this about all the social media networking sites - Twitter, Facebook (FB), MySpace and YouTube.  And it's true.  I'm on Twitter and FB, and I can't tell you how many of my connections spend all day in YoVille, Farmville, Mafia Wars and Cafe World.  I skim over those posts, because that's not my thing.  I can see, though, how much time one can spend in a day just between Twitter and FB.  (Incidentally, one friend got away from FB because of all the games on his stream.)

"We all want an audience." (Morgan) - Don't we though?  One question that preceded this comment was, "Do they think anyone cares what they had for breakfast?"  Donna Maria Coles Johnson would argue, "Yes, they do," because readers want to know they're dealing with a person, not a huge, anonymous corporate entity.  I post tweets throughout the day about what I'm doing, irritations, something cute one of my children did, and so forth, but do I really think that all 240 of my followers are raptly staring at their Twitter steams, waiting for the latest from me?  Um, no.  My ego's not nearly that big!

For me, the quality online networking experience comes from selectively choosing my audience and selectively choosing those for whom I will be the audience.  After all, it's about making connections, not about being in the middle of the online equivalent of the Midway at the State Fair.

Question:  What's the most rewarding part of your online social media experience?  How can you use that to improve your interactions?

Sixty-four a Day

Sixty-four... what?  Bars of soap?  Sometimes!  Bottles of lotion?  Possibly.  Tubes of lip balm?  Nope.

Sixty-four ounces of water daily.  This is my favorite and easiest fitness trick.  I start with 16 ounces when I take my morning pills - eight for my multivitamin, another eight for my Claritin.  This is a hard goal to reach when it's 35 degrees and cloudy outside.  After all, who wants to put even tap cold water into a body already bundled up against the cold?  However, as the days get warmer and more humid, that 64 ounces is very attainable.

I use water to stave off cravings, too.  My family gave me a scrumptious Andes Mint Cheesecake for Mother's Day, some of which is still in the fridge.  Last night I was thinking, "Hm, a slice of that sure would be good!"  Then I remembered something a friend told me one time:  "Hunger can also be your body's way of telling you you're dehydrated."  That stuck with me, and often when I find myself really wanting a sweet something (like a slice of cheesecake), I instead bypass the fridge and pantry and refill my water cup.  Works almost every time (though I'm not opposed to grabbing a Kiss from the bowl, either).

Question...  What's your favorite and easiest fitness trick?